Yes, this actually works, and it works because it uses a heart-based approach to parenting.  A heart-based approach to parenting focuses our work as parents in the same place that Jesus focuses when looking to bring change to a person’s life: on the heart.  So many other parenting approaches only look to change a kid’s behavior and neglect to work on changing a kid’s heart.  

Quite frankly, you’re a parent.  You don’t have time or energy to mess around with trendy parenting ideas or stuff that only works in some families.  You’ve likely seen some parenting tips you liked (and some you didn’t) but for one reason or another it just didn’t fit you well … maybe it wasn’t a match for your kid or parenting style.  Maybe you weren’t sure how to implement it.   

You don’t need fancy.  You just need what works, and you wouldn’t mind a little help making that happen.

If that’s you, then this course is perfect for you!  This course is filled with time-tested, faith-affirming, practical parenting tools and strategies that will build your confidence and your parenting skills.  You also have access to a closed private online community group along with live sessions with me to further your learning as you put what you’re learning into practice in your family.

A heart-based approach to parenting does take time up front, but it has enormous value in the long run.  The reality is that as a parent you are going to spend this time one way or another: either up front learning how to reach your kids at a heart level so you see change that lasts or on the back end as you clean up the pain, hurt, and damage that comes when we go it alone, try lots of different ideas, or use cookie cutter approaches to parenting.

So the time you are concerned about is already going to be spent.  You just need to ask yourself how you want to spend it.  Over the years, as I have worked with families, I have yet to hear a single family say they regretted the investment of time learning and using a heart-based approach to parenting.  Instead, I’ve only heard them say that they wished they learned this all sooner.

A heart-based approach to parenting focuses not on changing behavior but on changing the heart knowing that behavior will follow.  This is exactly what we see Jesus do all the time.

As parents, we need to place relationships at the center of everything - relationships with each other and with Jesus.  All the other tools and strategies used in this approach build upon growing stronger relationships that make us more like Jesus.  

A heart-based approach is also highly personalized.  God did not make cookie-cutter kids.  So we can’t expect cookie-cutter approaches to parenting to work for all kids.   As such, we take all of the tools God gives us, such as relationship, prayer, teaching, coaching, firmness, visioning, and transferring responsibility, and find practical ways to apply these to individual kids, individual families, and individual situations.

Other parenting approaches tend to be so busy establishing a parent’s authority that they do not work enough on building close, loving relationships OR they are so busy building relationships that they fail to establish that these relationships are based on parents teaching, discipling, and leading their children.  A heart-based approach to parenting balances these two extremes by simply doing what Jesus does: focus on the heart. 

The tools and strategies you will find in this parenting course will work with children as young as 2 years old and as old as 18 years old.  

"WHAT?!?  No way!" you say.

"Yes way!" I say.  Now, for this course, I generally recommend children be at least 4 years old, but many of the tools and strategies will work with younger children when adapted.  

You see, the tools and strategies you will learn in this course are designed to bring heart change to your children, and they are all based on biblical principles that God uses to change hearts of all people (including you and me).  

Now, how we actually use these tools with a 3 year old, a 5 year old, a 12 year old, and a 16 year old is going to look different, but the principles and tools remain the same. I find that younger children need alot more repetition when using these tools.  That repetition can be a bit boring for a parent, but it does wonders for the child in the present and future.    

I've used these tools and strategies with all 8 of my own children from when they were very young until today, AND I've personally worked with families with children as young as preschool and as old as high school.  We used these same tools and strategies and saw success, but how we used them was tailored to each child's age and stage.

That's why I highly encourage you to consider enrolling in the Group Coaching.  You can get your questions answered for how to do this with your own kids and also benefit from learning from others. 

Let me be honest with you.  This is going to be a challenge.  But yes these tools and strategies can 100% work to help your child.  I've seen it work time and time again.  It's going to take time, effort, intentionality, and prayer, but it works.

Why is it going to be a challenge?  Well, when children have big emotions, those emotions can get in their way at times.  So we need to help our children manage those emotions.  Sometimes children with big emotions show an uptick in emotional challenges at first because of the work we are doing.  But over time they learn to develop tools and plans for success that really work well for them. 

Another challenge is that sometimes we as parents can struggle in this area of emotions as well.  We blow up with emotions or we get annoyed because all we asked was for a simple thing like putting a dish in the sink or picking up a toy and now our child is having a full meltdown.  Sometimes we feel like we're walking on eggshells around our child because any minute now something is going to set our child off.  That said, we need to ask Jesus to help us in this area of life as well.  We need to model what we expect, and when we fail, we need to repent and seek forgiveness (including at times from our child). 

The truth is that we can't keep living this way with big emotions running and ruining our days because we have no idea how to handle them.  It's not healthy for anyone, especially our child.  So we need to help our child at a heart level to do what's right, deal with wrongs, and manage emotions in the process.  

The tools and strategies you'll find here will help you do just that, and I've seen families use them with great success.  That said, the children in these families were often resistant at first because they did not want to change.  But when the parents were patient, calm, and supportive as they used these tools and strategies, these children changed also and in the end were much happier when they did.

Learning to manage emotions is not an elective course of childhood.  It is a required course that our children need to pass, and for some children they need some more supportive help from us parents.  That's exactly what you can do with what you will learn in this course.

Absolutely.  I work with many children with special needs, and you can use these tools and strategies with them.  In fact, I think you'll find many aspects of these tools to be very helpful for them.

Additionally, one of the  biblical principles these tools are based on is that God does not make any two children the same.  So while we can use the same tools with all children, how we use those tools is expected to be  tailored and modified for each child.  

There are lots of good ways to parent, and so I take time in each module to point out ideas for scaffolding and modifying to help children with different types of needs. 

This course is designed to provide you as a parent with the heart-based tools and strategies that you can use with any of your children to help them increase their capacity to manage big emotions and develop successful strategies for moving forward when working with others and/or facing challenging problems in life.

This course is NOT a replacement for professional therapy from a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other such professional.

Professional therapy can play a positive role in a child's life in helping them address issues such as anxiety, depression, anger, and similar mental health struggles, and parents should take these seriously.  Parents play a vital role in addressing these mental health struggles as well, and the tools and strategies in this course can greatly aide you in supporting your child.

The vast majority of families with whom B.J. works with as a coach do not have children who need professional therapy.  The heart-based tools and strategies along with coaching have made a great difference in their children and families. 

That said, a few families have had children have needed professional therapy.  These parents have wisely trusted their parenting intuition, sought out that professional therapy support, and been thankful for the results.  They have also reported what they and their children were learning in therapy was complimented well by the heart-based tools and strategies taught in resources such as this course.

B.J.'s professional background is in elementary education, and he is also a trained biblical parenting coach and presenter with the National Center for Biblical Parenting.  He is not a trained mental health professional.

I get it.  Running a family is not easy and not cheap.

I think about all the things I buy for my 8 kids … toys, gifts, devices, clothes, equipment for sports, and more.  It’s good to provide for our children and a blessing to be able to give our children good gifts.  But all of these gifts are temporary.  The toys eventually get donated.  Newer device models come out almost as quickly as we purchase them.  Clothes eventually get outgrown or fall out of style.  Even the sports equipment fades away.

But we are called to invest in things that have eternal significance.  The relationships we build in our family and the faith that we pass on in our parenting will outlast every other gift we give our children.  So consider this course an investment in yourself, in your kids, in your family, and in your faith.  

You will not leave this course as the same parent and family as you came because Jesus wants to do amazing things through you and your kids to see His kingdom come.

And if that wasn’t enough, you have lifetime access to the course materials.  You can revisit lessons, videos, and other resources as you need them, and any time I update the course, you get that update for free as well. 

I am completely confident that you will see change in your children and family life after completing this course.  You have a 30 day money back guarantee if you show me your work and the results are not in alignment with what I shared you should expect.  Every family is unique and faces its own set of challenges.  So change will look different from family to family.  That said, Jesus is faithful and will show up in family life when we take the tools He has given us as parents and put them into practice with our families.

You have lifetime access to the full course and all materials in it.  Lifetime access means as long as I am running this course, you have access to it.  

An added bonus is that as I update the course in future years, you’ll get access to any updates as well (It’s like getting the next edition of any parenting book you ever buy but for free and with all of the best updates you want!).

Also, the Facebook group we have will be archived at the end of the course.  So while you won’t be able to continue posting there, you will have access to all of the live videos as well as posts where people asked questions and got answers in the community.  So you’ll be able to search that content as well.

When you first enroll, you will have access to the Welcome module materials which will help you learn about the course, how to connect in the private FB group, and what to expect week to week.  After that, each module is released one week at a time.  This tends to help parents stay focused and not become overwhelmed seeing everything at once.  Over the course of 8 weeks, every module will be released to you.  Once a module is released, you have lifetime access to it.

While having only one parent use a heart-based approach can make it more challenging to see change, it can and does work with any child even in such situations.  That said, a few suggestions are below:

• If you are married, it is always wise to be one with your spouse in your decisions.  So even if your spouse does not want to participate or is unable to participate, make sure your participation is not causing a marital problem.
• If you are divorced, your children have likely already experienced some differences in expectations, routines, etc. between your home and their other parent’s home.  You can still have a significant impact on your children, and since you are working on your kids’ hearts, you are increasing the chance of this change lasting no matter where your children are.

I build my courses understanding that I am working with parents, and as parents, we are very busy.  So I do my best to streamline everything and give you only what you need at any given moment.

Each module is built with several 5-10 minute videos totaling 30-45 minutes each week.  The supplemental print materials (i.e. pdf docs, posters, etc.) are additional, though they are not heavy reading.  Most are actually just supportive visual aides you can use with yourself and your children.  

You’ll have some basic homework to practice what you learn with your children each week.  Depending on how it goes, your child may give you extra opportunities to practice your homework 😉.  

There’s also a weekly family night included in each module.  Each family night is designed to take no more than 20-30 minutes with your whole family together … and they are designed to be fun and flexible.  You can add whatever you want to them (I highly recommend cookies).

The Parent Field Guide includes the family nights and a place to take notes when you watch the videos.  I also added some other optional devotional materials that will bless you.  Other than that, that’s about it in terms of time.

Yes, a heart-based approach to parenting takes time.  But here’s the thing:  you’re either going to invest the time now up front with your children and reap some benefits or you’re going to spend the time later cleaning up the mess from not investing earlier on.  And we all know it always costs more later on.  So take the time now and invest in your children and family. 

Let’s take a look below!